Apa akan jadi pada orang yang tiada kemampuan? Fikirkanlah.macam macam

Rata rata kita baca generasi yang bekerja berkelulusan yang bekerja swasta dapat tanggungan rawatan kesihatan hospital dan klinik tanpa had dimana kosnya dibayar oleh majikan/syarikat.
Yang bekerja dengan kerajaan apa pangkat sekali pun akan dapat waran pencen berupa guarantee berupa kad pencen. Kiranya sakit sampai mati lepas lah bayar yang minimum suami dan isteri.

Tapi yang orang kampung mana mampu nak ambil insuran sihat malaysia? Nak hidup sihat harian pun sakit apa lagi untuk rawatan untuk semua. Lama kelamaan rakyat Msia akan jadi macam penduduk negara seberang, sakit cuba rawat sendiri walaupun tidak sembuh. Yang akan maju tukang ubat perbomohan atau quack keluar dengan macam macam ubat mereka yang menjaminkan segala khasiat. Walaupun dari segi kimia dan pharmacology tidak ada maklumat atau bukti ianya menyembuhkan penyakit.

Yang senang yang duduk ditampuk kuasa leka akan kesusahan harian rakyat di kaki lima. Yang jadi ahli politik kalau dah jadi satu term dapat lah rawatan mereka percuma kelas diraja pula tu, tidak kisah lah mp pembangang, bebas atau kjaan. Pencen masuk laju walau pun kerja dan jasa mereka bukan lah sampai mematah kan tulang empat kerat mereka seharian.

Kenapa saya tulis ini, sepanjang meluangkan masa di wad hospital, saya terpegun melihat pesakit wad kelas 3 yang mana kebanyakan mereka tidak mempunya keupayaan membayar kos perubatan mereka.
Agaknya inilah pukulan menuju kearah negara maju, bina   bangunan mencapai langit, freedom for all sampai goyah kedudukan negara tapi yang memperjuangkan nya sama hidup mewah dan dapat rawatan tiada had dan perlu membayar apa apa kos walaupun dia hentam kjaan dsbnya. Apa guna kita ada tripple tower ke, sambutan tahun baru yang membelanjakan berjuta juta untuk bunga api dan majlis dsbnya?
Bukankah duit ini boleh di belanjakan dengan memberi rawatan yang percuma kepada rakyat Malaysia terutama yang tidak bekerja kerajaan dan tiada pilihan lain lagi untuk mendapat rawatan perubatan yang decent?
Kerajaan patutnya lebih sensitif keadaan rakyat yang tiada pendapatan yang tetap, atau tiada mendapat elaun seperti pekerja kerajaan, maka duit adalah terhad. Jika kos perubatan perlu dibayar dan kerajaan tidak mahu mengambil kira kos ini sebagai tanggungjawab kerajaan maka kerajaan perlulah membuat kempen macam negara China satu ketika dulu; satu anak bagi satu pasangan. Maka banyak dapat di hadkan kos yang perlu diambilkira.
Malas nak tulis panjang, maaf jika ini menyinggung perasaan sesiapa. Tapi ini adalah dari pengalaman dan pemerhatian saya yang berlaku didepan mata saya.
Yang paling mengesahkan bila orang yang bekerja di jabatan xray minta dipindahkan kerana tidak tahan ramai waris pesakit datang meminta potongan harga kerana tidak mampu membayar kos xray. Jawapan yang perlu diberi adalah pergi minta kebenaran Doktor atau pergi ke jabatan  yang ada hubungan dengan badan amal untuk meminta pertolongan.
Bayangkan bila mencuci darah bagi buah pinggang juga perlu di bayar atau memerlukan sponsor. Makcik ini orang Melayu Islam akhirnya di sponsor oleh persatuan Buddha Budi Suci.

Apakah kita hanya meimpose hukum Islam bila berkaitan dengan Seks, kahwin 4, berkhalwat dan sebagainya sahaja? Apa jadi dengan kutipan zakat? Bukankah perlu diadakan bantuan kepada yang tiada kemampuan untuk membayar rwatan perubatan dan sebagainya?

Sudah tiba kerajaan mengubah sikap dan berhemah didalam perbelanjaan harian dan celebration yang membazir seperti red karpet , baik untuk orang politik mahupun yang berdarah merah tapi dipanggi biru.
Sudah tiba masanya speciality untuk mereka mereka perlu dikaji semula. Setiap priviledge mesti ada tanggungjawab, maknanya jika dia adalah orang yang berkenaan baik si politik atau sidarah merah panggil biru, makanya priiviledge ini dihadkan pada dia sahaja. Priviledge ini di hadkan pada yang berkenaan tidak meliputi atau meliwati satu keluarga, keturunan dan adik beradik anak beranak.MAKAmereka tidak perlu di beri ealun dan special treatment. Yang berkontrak dengan rakyat adalah seorang yang mendapat segala kelebihan adalah satu bas ahli keluarga  mereka.
Sudah tiba kita menolak peminmpin yang mementingkan perjuangan sendiri, untuk keturunan sendiri dan kaum kerabat mereka.
Maaf buka saya nak cakap politik, tapi saya sudah jelek baik yang duduk selesa ditampuk kuasa yang sangat insular(lost touch of reality), yang berkuasa kerana mereka berdarah biru dan dapat duduk lama kerana satu ketika mereka sanggup menggadai tanah dan bangsa semata mata nak duduk berkuasa..sampai beratus tahun pun ada.

Saya tidak sokong yang gadai bangsa, negara dan mainkan sentiment agama untuk duduk berkuasa. Saya hanya jelek melihatkan rakyat masih lagi hidup susah di zaman orang panggil post millenium ini.
Barang mahal, semua naik. Tapi datang seorang yang pangkat tertinggi memberi tahu rakyat supaya ikat perut padahal yang dia lihat di blog hanya lah sejumlah mereka sahaja sebuk experiment JJM,makan sana sini, tapi ini bukan true representation sebenar rakyat dan kemiskinan dan kesusahan mereka diseluruh negara.

Pemimpin yang ada satu ketika bukan main beriya iya untukrakyat dan bangsa dan ugama, tapi luar dari pandangan media msia, dia gitu hebat bersekongkol juga dan duduk juga rumah berjuta.
Once these so called leader put on a pedestal they lost reality and would anything to be on power and stay in power. The politics of the masses is notRELEVANT. It oonly RELEVANT when to gain support for personal party.

Mari kita berdoa dan menolak manusia yang gila kuasa dari diluruskan mendapat tempat untuk memanipulasikan semua untuk kedudukan sendiri.
Kepada ahli politik yang sepanjang hidup menjadi ahli politik, mungkin anda juga sudah tiba masa take a back seat dan just be the echo...pencen. Let the new blood come in. About time  kita kena menolak jika parti adik beradik dan anak beranak, keturunan dan yang  berdarah merah dipanggil biru dari masuk politik. Sudah tiba masanya yang berdarah merah panggil biru ini di kaji balik kelebihan atau priviledge mereka dikecilkan, apatah lagi title blue blood mereka ini ada superpower maka mereka akan mampu hidup dengan mewah walaupun kena bayar cukai dan perbelanjaan upkeep mereka dihadkan pada tugas yang paling berpangkat tinggi.

Banyak lagi. Fikirkan dan jangan kita merusuh atau meriot sana sini macam org kampung seberang laut atau negara jiran. Kita tolak mereka caranya jangan undi mereka.
Orang kita orang yang beradab dan bersopan santun, jangan kita buat sedemikian, tapi kita tolak mereka.

Nasihat saya pada semua yang ada access internet, buka dan belilah buku sejarah yang ditulis dengan hasil archive luar negara. Selalunya penulis akan menulis berdasarkan fakta sejarah dunia yang ada record mereka. Kita perlu mengikut cara mereka yang menyimpan sejarah beratus tahun yang lampau. Malah jika dilihat ada archive di vat1c4n pasal Isobella dan macam hal sejarah.Kita boleh analisa dan compare.

Salah satu contohnya bila ahli saintis yang paling dihormati oleh semua persatuan Astronomer sedunia, mereka tahu dia adalah berbangsa persia yang bukanlah seorang boleh dikatakan seorang ahli agama kita malah mereka ada lebih detail lagi mengenai bangsa pers1a ini.
Sekurang kurangnya kita tidak membuta tuli terus ingat semua orang dari negara t1mur tengah adalah 1slam,dsbnya.
Kita tidak menerima bulat bulat yang mereka bernama T4riq Aziz boleh berbahasa Arab dan membaca AL Qur4n adalah Islam. Berpakaian jubah dan igal atau bertarbus serban  adalah seigama dengan kita.Yang mana agakan kita  makanan mereka berdaging halal. Hanya semata mata nama mereka Islam dan berselubung.
Yang bernama Zinedine ikut pengaruh ejaan bahasa penakluk perancis mereka, maka dieja sedemikian. Padahal makna nama nya sama saja Zainudin Zaidan. Zine adalah Zain. Tapi tidak semsetinya mereka seigama dengan kita.
Rakan yang dari p4lestine selalunya bercakap memang kalau dari belah parsi, lubnan malah di kaherah gaya hidup, makan minum setiap hari adalah serupa dengan arab berbangsa Arab 1slam, tapi mereka tidak semestinya berugama kita.
Kita perlu tahu keadaan ribut pasir dan panas terik menyebabkan mereka berjubah yang berlapis serta bertudung igal atau serban untuk menutup dan melindungi dari panas terik dan menutup muka dari debu halus pasir.
Orang Badawi mereka bukanlah kisah sangat pasal agama, mereka hanya pentingkan adat macam yang lain juga. Ada setengah gologngan yang berpegang pada ajaran 1slam, ada yang play as you go atau hidup cara free spirit, yang membuatkan mereka serupa  hanya mereka berjubah berbahasa yang sama, berigal atau serban hanya semata mata untukkeperluan harian melindungi dari dehydration dan pasir halus berterbangan.

Malah ada dikalangan badwi  yang hidup bergerak disekitar bumi pa1estin dimana ada kes mereka membuncitkan budak perempuan dari kaum y4-hud1. Bila bayi dilahirkan budak tersebut diambil oleh keluarga berbangsa tersebut.Ada mereka kesah?
Kita tidak boleh terus menyangka tanpa menyelidik sesuatu hanya appearance mereka.
Seperti restoran lubnan yang macm cendawan tumbuh lepas hujan di msia, mereka adalah banyak dipengaruhi oleh penjajah mereka- per4ncis. Maka service dan perniagaan restoran ala kafe ini adalah sebati dengan cara hidup mereka. mereka juga hidup di satu ketika kerajaan extreme puak shiah atau sunni. Dimana untuk memudahkan kehiduapn harian tanpa dilarang mereka adapt cara dan nama pertuturan harian mereka seperti bak kata orang"masuk kandang kambing mengembek ". Maka mereka dibiasakan mensebatikan diri boleh bertutur perancis atau Arab dan tulisan jawi, maka mereka boleh juga membacanya.
Maka jika kita lihat kebanjiran orang lubnan di negara kita; sebelum kita pergi makan kita kaji betul betul , halalkah makanan daging nya? Bukan telan bulat bulat sebab restoran tersebut dari timur tengah dan nama didalam bahasa Arab.  that does not mean halal is it?
Jangan kita pula ambil pakai cara orang Arab. Konsep Halal mereka asal kan baca bismillah dan bukan babi, bedal tidak kisahlah mereka berselubung purdah ke bertasbih.
Kewujudan ahli perniagaan dari Lubanan dinegara negara lain, akan banyak menimbulkan masalah. Dari negara Afrika sampai lah ke England. Mereka amat dikenali sebagai slick malah melepasi dari peraturan dan menyalah guna untuk kepentingan mereka. Malah disatu ketika mereka menguasai ruang perniagaan di negara tersebut.

Bila ada access internet ini gunalah untuk mendapatkan ilmu dan manfaat bukan sekadar cakap kosong saja. Kalau yang mampu, beli lah buku berunsur sejarah (mainly in English) dari kedai buku amaz0n etc. Buku dibaca kemudian bolehlah di perturunkan kepada anak anak. Baca dan analisa fakta sejarah, jika kita ada musykil carilah lagi bahan bacaan yang serupa berbentuk sejarah juga. Selalunya fakta sejarah diambil dari archive sejarah yang diiktiraf amat elok dan informative. Elakkan anak anak dari membaca buku yang cetek pengetahuan. Tengok banyak tv atau main videogame etc dan kurang membaca. Serapkan nilai menarik bila menyuruh mereka membaca buku berbentuk biografi atau sejarah sesuatu negara. Nilai dan model serta falsafah sesebuah negara itu.Suruh mereka bayangkan hidup mereka jika lahir di era tersebut untuk menilaikan sesuatu.

Mana tahu satu hari anak anak kita menjadi pemimpin negara, pendedahan dan pengetahuan yang mereka baca dan ketahui dapat membantu mereka membuat keputusan berkaitan dengan pentadbiran negara secara berkesan dan tidak membuat keputusan yang merugikan agama bangsa dan negara.

Jangan kita menjadi burung kakak tua.. atau belatuk .. kita komen mengenai isu semasa tapi kita juga lupa untuk mentafsirkan kenapa kita komen dan apa kaitannya komen tersebut dengan perbuatan kita? Adakah kita komen supaya kita ada tulis sesuatu didalam blog kita walaupun komen kita bercanggah dengan apa yang kita buat?
Contohnya kita buat posting pasal kaum Pa13stin didalam muka gambar dan muka buku kita menghentam kaum tersebut.  Yang mendajalkan bila pemilik muka buku dan muka gambar adalah bangsa dari kaum yang dikutuk atpi sudah assimilate atau hidup cara rakyat  negara besar 4mer1k4, nama pun kita tak pasti sangat. Jika kita membaca dan ada extra knowledge kita mungkin tahu nama yang hujung ada zuck3r83rg, man, mich4el,mika3l etc sama makna nya didalam bahasa yid1sh atau h3br3w. Tujuan mereka mencipta benda benda ini untuk mengumpul maklumat dan data pasal orang yang menentang mereka. Maka mereka berjaya mengumpul data malah ipaddress serta semua ahli keluarga dan gambar peribadi sesiapa yang mengondem mereka.
Mereka berjaya didalam p3r4ng saraf mengumpul segala maklumat dan kelemahan kita. Dari apa yang kita tulis mereka boleh agak betapa simplenya dan cetek  mentaliti serta pengetahuan kita yang mana mereka boleh manipulate.

ok back to the isu rawatan hospital  sila tengok dan kaji balik lah ya..Kalau yang hidup senang tu,kalau keja  swasta, sila simpan la duit untuk hari tua atau masa sakit pening nanti.. sila lihat link charges  dan requirement.
hospital charges

When coming to the clinic at the appointed date , please bring along:-







Referral letter


Identification Card


Copy of Your Pension Card if you are Pensioner


Guarantee Letter from your Department.


ADMISSION IJN 

Financial requirement - outpatient



Own self


RM500 deposit on registration


Employer


Letter of Undertaking to bear treatment costs


Employer


Letter of Undertaking to bear treatment costs


Insurance companies/ MCO


Letter of Undertaking by Insurance companies/ MCO stating eligibility/entitlement


Ward entitlement


According to patient’s entitlement or request.


Payment can be made via Cash/ Credit card/ Cheque/ Bank draft/Company GL/ Insurance GL


akhir kata jaga diri, makan harian semua. Jangan duduk depan tv laptop berjam jam , keluarkan peluh.
Kalau masa tengah senang, cermat lah simpan duit dan beli insuran kesihatan untuk anda suami isteri semasa usia masih muda untuk insuran hari tua. Kalau selalu tukar hp tu, simpanlah duit tu buat beli insuran bila dah tak makan gaji lagi masa tu kalau kerja swasta, medical care by company habis bila kita habis kerja cukup umur pencen.
Masa tu memang terasa kerana bila banyak sakit kenalah down grade spital gomen. Masa tu semua kena bayar dari poket sendiri...dan badan macam keta dah kondem. Sementara kuat dan sihat jaga makan jangan ikut tekak, rajin lah makcik akak sekalian jalan keliling padang rumah kasi keluarkan peluh sekuarng 23kali seminggu selama 2 jam sekurang kurangnya ...

bedside manner untuk si professional berkot putih

Ada Saudara  saya sakit, masuk hospital. Maklumlah sakit jantung. Bila dah tua ada lah masalah kesihatan mengganggu.
Didalam wad, satu pagi hari rabu lepas -med officer datang memarahi orang tua ni kerana tidak memanggil dia bila dia complaint sakit kepala kepada nurse selepas diberi ubat oleh Dr Pakar; bila dia komplen pertuturan dan pipinya tiba tiba rasa macam semut semut kebas dimalam sebelumnya..
Masalahnya bila dia diberi ubat, Dr pakar pesan padabeliau memberi tahu nurse jika ada apa apa masalah.
Petang selepas diberi ubat kepala beliau sakit berdenyut denyut , maka dinasihatkan oleh anak memberi tahu nurse. Supaya nurse boleh beri tahu dr. Maklumlah the nearest person to patient daily care would the nurse.
Kemudian nurse datang beri dia ubat dan bila ubat berjalan alhamdullillah.
Esok paginya datang dua orang MO(student Dr) marah marah orang tua ini. Diantara di persoalkan adalah kenapa orang tua ini tidak memanggil dia?Kenapa panggil nurse?
Orang tua ni jawablah, "saya dah panggil nurse beritahu. mcammanalah saya nak hubungi dr? Maka MO ini melenting lah marah marah dan menyalahkan orang tua ini. Alasannya dia nak orang tua ni pergi scan sewaktu dia kena sympton tersebut. Kemudian dia mempersoalkan aduan pagi sebelumnya. - takkan bangun tidur terus kebas kebas  begitu saja dan lidah jadi pelat? Since orang tua ini cakap now the symptom has now gone,she was rudely and roughly said  "kalau macam ni hari ini boleh discharge" .Well orangtua ini bukan bodohpunya orang tua tau, she pergi sekolah and well mixed. So she answered"ok, tak apa saya pun nak balik nak rehat, minggu depan ada appointment dengan IJN".
nb: Orang tua tu bukan suka komplen, tapi banyak kali dirumah dia kena symptom ini dan kadangkala bila bercakap pertuturannya menjadi amat sukar difahami apatah lagi nak mendengar suaranya yang mengah mengih.(We are talking abt an independent lady who single handedly managed anak anak nya dan sampai lah dia kena masalah pernafasan ini , dia masih menanam pokok sekeliling rumah dan siram pokok dan jaga cucu dsbnya).So bila dia kena pelat dan pipi kebas, dia ada cakap tapi di rumah susah lah nak buat apa apa.
Lepas tu si dr MO ini bercakap bahasa inggeris dengan kawan nya seorang lagi depan depan orang tua ni.
(That is very rude doktor). If you have doubt ke apa ke you should walk away from the patients hearing and discuss.
Dia ingat orang tua ini tak sekolah agaknya tak pun sekolah Melayu, so takpaham English gamaknya.
So dia dengan selambanya cakap pada kawan MO lagi sorang lagi,"she must be told other wise she would simply do what she wants  etc etc etc".
Then rudely walk away. Then 2 minutes later, the MO friend's came and apologies on her friends behalf. She must felt guilty seeing how her MO buds treated heart problem patient rather rudely.
This old lady said to her nicely - kenapa awak minta maaf untuk kawan awak? yang salah kawan awak? Dia bukan adik beradik awak untuk awak minta maaf.
Alasan MO yang rasa guilty melihat kebiadapan MO tadi pada orang tua tadi. "oh Dia tengah stress kerana on-call penat".

Orang tua ni jawab," itu bukanlah masalah saya. Memang kerja dia. Tapi bukan salah saya dia penat. Jgn marah saya pula...Hadapsajalah.". Dr itupun berlalu.
Bila anak nya sampai terdengar MO tadi meminta maaf bagi pihak kawannya yg bersikap biadap, pun pergi ke office. Maka soal jawab pun bermula, budak MO yang meminta maaf untuk pihak kawan tadi pun, mula lacakap loyar buruknya untuk menjawab bagi pihak kawanya tadi.. "Dia period, dia kena on-call. Dia ada masalah stress"

OK what annoys me is that that MO has got no bedside manner and in all circumstances she shouldn't tengking tengking orang tua yang berumur 78 tahun yang masuk ke hospital kerana masalah jantung dan pernafasan.
Jika dia stress, dia tidak semestinya menengking pesakit.
Dia mempersoalkan aduan oleh orang tua tadi seolah olah orang tua ini mengada ngada; bila dia berkomunikasi dengan kawan MO nya ddidlam bahasa Inggeriss. Orang tua tadi bersekolah convent ok dari sekolah rendah - kesekolah menengah. Just she was communicating in Malay and pakai baju hospital and not looking in excellent of conditions, entitled her to be  treated like that.
Bukan ke MO ke sesiapa yang bekerja dengan orang yang mengidap sakit jantung ke apa ke, mereka perlu bercakap dengan lembut dan bersimpati, dan bukan marah marah?Whether you like or not, believe or not, you have to be comforting to patient not causing them stress.

Tidak kisah lah jika pesakit tu orang kampung ke, orang susah ke atau orang apa kaum sekali pun, dia perlu conduct herself in a professional manner.It shouldn't be judge by skin, ethnicity and religion.Doktor should be neutral in their treatment and behaviour mannerism to all patient.
I hope sesiapa nak menjadi doktor, dah jadi doktor, kalau terbaca ini, please please jangan rosakkan nama bidang perubatan ini. Hipochratic (hypocrit)oath? bedside manner, professionalism... which ever way and means, even if you are dead tired you have to keep your patience. Don't provoke and antagonize the patients.Talk in a decent and aceptable manner and tone, not belittle them esp when they are much older and less able than you. Never judge the patient with their appearance and assume they are illiterate wetbacks!
I have met someone who is teaching medic student doing clinics as wells for she is sub specialize dr, and also attending to on-calls. We have met her when she was on on-call, etc etc.. she didn't show her temper but she was as a matter of factly when talking and never in a provoking manner, despite her too tired and penat etc. Mind you she too look after her orang tua at home.

If anyone have masalah hidung tinggi and have lack of patience and think talking nice to these sort of kelas 3 patience is beneath them, then maybe Doktor is not your true profession.
So if anyone aspire to be a doktor, or already  be one,please keep your stress and frustations aside walk in as a doktor...to ease and treat the pain not to aggravate the pain.


Oh btw the ekg,scan etc shows there 's some issue. The Dr pakar has kindly remind her to keep watch of the symptom again and again even before discharged. As that can lead to semi stroke/heart attack.
Imagine if kalau dia orang kampung tak reti nak mengadu.. duduk je atas katil. Mahu dia gitu aja...issh

Rahsia kegembiraan dari ektrak The secret to happiness? PAUL MCKENNA explains the values of love, loyalty and laughter

Fakta fakta analisa oleh Paul McKenna boleh kita gunakan didalam kehidupan harian  didalam mencari keharmonian didalam diri kita denagn manusia dsbnya...


::Paul ­McKenna’s fabulous new book I Can Make You Happy. Each day he has shown you ­different ways to enhance your life. In the final part, he explains the value of happiness . . .


Sooner or later, if you did things only for pleasure, you’d be left feeling: ‘Is this all there is?’ You’d even get bored with ­caviar and champagne if that’s all you had to eat and drink.



And don’t forget that one bar of ­chocolate may be delicious, but two bars are not twice as nice and 100 bars will make you sick.



If happiness were determined by pleasure, then the people with the most money would be the happiest. Actually, there are plenty of miserable millionaires.

Happy family: When social researchers measured happiness levels in Europe and the U.S. recently, they discovered the levels hadn¿t changed since the Forties

I know lots of people who have all the houses and possessions, toys and ­security money can buy — and none of that makes them any ­happier than other friends who earn an ordinary wage.



The truth is that once people can afford the basics of life, there’s almost no ­correlation between wealth and happiness. Indeed, one study found the richest people in America were no happier than Masai tribesmen in East Africa.



Happiness includes pleasure, but it’s something deeper.



More...The secret to happy relationships: PAUL MCKENNA explains how to feel secure and confident at home, at work and with friends

I can make you HAPPY: PAUL McKENNA shows how you can make happiness a habit

Exhausted and fed up as the New Year begins? PAUL McKENNA shows how you can banish the blues... for good



Happiness is a backdrop to your life that makes everyday life rewarding; it gives you strength in hard times and it frees you to enjoy life fully at every opportunity.



However, at all stages of life, a lot of misery is caused by people confusing pleasure with happiness.



SHOPPING

The boundaries got blurred at the beginning of the last century with the rise of consumerism and the promotion of buying on the basis of desire rather than need.



Now, shopping is the No 1 leisure activity in the Western world. And advertising comes at us from all sides to suggest that a watch, car or, indeed, clothes will make us more sophisticated, elegant and cool.



Occasionally, you buy the watch, car or designer label and you do feel pleasure. It doesn’t last ­for ever, but you can tell that you feel better.



But the real problem with advertising is that it urges us to look outside ourselves for stuff to make us feel good, so it trains our minds to want what we haven’t got.



Happiness, on the other hand, is nourished by noticing what you already have — and appreciating it. So don’t compare the outside of someone else with the inside of you.



AN INSIDE JOB

Values: Paul McKenna builds his life around love, laughter, loyalty, creativity, gratitude and generosity

Over the past 70 years, we’ve had a vast increase in material wealth. We live longer, have far better medical care, more ways of ­communicating, more art and ­better housing.



We’ve also managed to create a comfort-driven culture that’s removed a great deal of hard work from our lives. And yet we’re no happier.



When social researchers measured happiness levels in Europe and the U.S. recently, they discovered that the levels hadn’t increased since the Forties.



It’s clear, therefore, that external circumstances don’t determine happiness.



In fact, researchers have found that our external, material ­circumstances account for only 10 per cent of our happiness.



The research shows that ­happiness comes not from things and people around us, but from how we respond to them.



True happiness, therefore, is an inside job.



RETRAIN YOUR BRAIN

The fundamental search ­processes of the brain are ­continually looking for what we don’t have, and as a result ­continually overlooking what we already have.



This exercise is a fantastically powerful way to stop you craving what you haven’t got. It’s very simple. Just write down, each day, something for which you’re grateful — such as your health, your family, a beautiful morning, a smile from a stranger or a hug from a friend.



You can use a notebook, ­computer or smartphone. The important thing is that you’re ­telling your mind to look for all the good things in your life.



Keeping a daily gratitude journal is equivalent to strengthening your happiness muscles.



When you practise any positive pattern of thought, you reinforce those neural pathways and change your brain chemistry.



That means you can escape from the desires that are promoted by advertising and free yourself to focus on your own values.



GOALS Vs VALUES

It’s important for your ­happiness to understand the difference between goals and values.



Goals are like a compass: they help you to set a direction in life and to measure your success. One personal goal might be: ‘In ten years time, I want to own a house by the seaside.’



This could be highly motivating — and it will make you happy when you finally hit your goal. But it would be crazy to have to wait ten years to be happy.



Goals should not limit your ­happiness. You can, however, be happy every day provided you’re living by your values.



These values are the principles and states that you hold in the highest esteem. For some people, they might be religious beliefs; for others, their values might include loyalty or integrity.



Your own happiness is founded on these personal values, which give meaning to your life.



Over the years, I’ve worked with a number of people who were approaching the end of their lives. None of them, I’ve found, looked back and wished that they’d had more money, more cars or bigger houses.



All of them were most grateful for the love of their families, the beauties of the natural world and the joys of friendship. They all wished they’d worried less and laughed more.



But there was one incident, about 15 years ago, that made me focus on my own values.



I was sitting in a restaurant with a friend and he said: ‘We should meet here again in 30 years time.’



This suggestion suddenly sent my imagination soaring into the future. I realised that in 30 years, many of the people I knew and loved would have died.



My body would be less fit. I’d have been working on my career for another three decades.



As these ideas rushed into my head, I remember thinking: ‘I’m going to love and appreciate my family and friends every day, because they won’t all be here in three decades. I’m going to appreciate my health and enjoy each day I live.’






That conversation started me thinking about what I truly ­valued. Since then, I’ve built my life around the following values, and asked myself these related questions each day:






LOVE: Am I expressing and ­receiving it?






LAUGHTER: Am I open to laughter and good humour?






LOYALTY: Am I being a good friend, and am I enjoying my friends?






CREATIVITY: Am I expressing and developing my talents?






GRATITUDE: Am I grateful for what I’ve been given?






GENEROSITY: Am I making a ­positive contribution to the world around me?



I know that if I can tick the ‘yes’ box to all these questions every day, then I’m living a happy life. The next exercise will help you to do the same thing.



KNOWING YOUR VALUES


The next exercise will help you to do the same thing.






1. Ask yourself: ‘What is most important to me?’ For example, it could be your family, career, fame, money, health or relationships.






2. Choose the five most important things in your life. Take each one in turn and ask yourself: ‘What is it about this that is important to me?’ For example, if money is important to you, ask: ‘What is it about money that’s important to me?’ The answer might be ­‘security’ or ‘status’. If family is important to you, ask: ‘What’s important to me about family?’ The answer might be ‘enjoying every day’. Ask again: ‘What’s important about that?’ The answer might be ‘love’.






3. Keep asking: ‘What is it about this that’s important to me?’ until you reach the value that drives it.






4. Work through each of your most important things, and write a list of all the values that underpin them. These are your core values.






5. Every day, ask yourself: ‘How can I live my values today?’




6. If you have a decision to


make, ask yourself: ‘What choice can I make that will most support my values?’



7. Make a note now to ask ­yourself three questions every day for the next week:


(a) Have I lived by my values?


(b) Has my life been enriched?


(c) Do I need to adjust or add another value to my list?



THE BIGGEST LESSON OF ALL


Being happy is simple. Being unhappy is complicated.




I strongly recommend that you keep practising all the techniques I’ve shown you, even if you begin to feel happier straight away.



All of them will enhance your happiness. And sooner or later, when life brings more challenges your way, you’ll be in a much better ­position to cope.



Remember, too, that when we live happily by our values, we actually make a significant ­contribution to the wellbeing of those around us.



So don’t keep your happiness to yourself. Spread it around — and make yourself even happier. There’s an old Chinese proverb that I’d like to leave with you:






If you want happiness for an hour — take a nap.






If you want happiness for a day — go fishing.






If you want happiness for a year — inherit a fortune.



If you want happiness for a ­lifetime — help someone else.::





::EXTRACTED from I CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY by Paul McKenna, published by Bantam at £10.99. © 2011 Paul McKenna::


article was taken from Dma1l with thanks.




Seperti kata penulis diatas, apakah target untuk diri kita? Kaji dan selidiki lah nilai maruah  dan tahap moral kita?
Tanyalah diri diri kita dan suara hari kita..

Contoh nya apa yang penting pada diri kita? keluarga, ibu bapa, kerjaya, menjadi orang ternama dan terkenal?, Kesihatan atau perhubungan atau persahabatan?


Pilih beberapa yang paling utama didalam hidup kita. Kaji dan persoalkan didalam diri kita mengapa perkara itu sangat utama pada diri kita? Jika duit sangat penting untuk diri kita persoalkan. Apa duuit lakukan ianya menjadi penting untuk kita...jawapan nya mungkin jaminan hidup yang selesa atau status?jika keluarga persoakan kenapa penting? adakah kerana untuk berdampingan setiap hari? Carilah jawapan yang masuk akal. contoh kerana kasih... bukan untuk menjadi tukang cuci baju, masak dan kemas rumah dan tempat melampiaskan kemarahan dan bad mood serta punching bag kepada anak dan isteris dsbnya..
Jika jawabnya kasih maka kita kena jaga subjek keliling kita dengan kasih sayang, bukan marah marah dan asyik kena veto dari anda. Bini balik kerja nak buat semua dirumah sorang sorang.. Tunjukkan kasih anda dengan membantu dikeliling rumah dsbnya..

Sentiasa menyoal mengapa ini sangat penting buat kita sehinggalah kita mendapat jawaban nilai yang mengukuh  kan jawaban persoalan ini.

Kaji semula setiap perkara penting dan tulis senarai semua nilai nilai moral yang terdapat didalamnya. ini adalah nilai asas yang penting.

Kita bangkit dari tidur kita tanya diri kita setiap hari:
 Bagaimanakah aku dapat hidup didalam nilai nilai posistif didalam hidup ku hari ini?
Jika kita ada keputusan maka soal diri kita didalam hati. Apa pilihan yang terbaik yang akan membantu nilai nilai positif didalamhidup ini?
Buat nota bagaimana kita perlu menyoal 3 soalan asas setiap hari untuk diri kita..
- adakah kita telah menjalani kehidupan kelmarin berlandaskan nilai nilai positif yang kita mahukan?
-) Sudahkah hidup ini diperkayakan  oleh nilai nilai yang kita fikirkan diatas?
-Adakah perlu kita memperbaiki atau menambah nilai nilai positif dan bermoral kepada senarai yang sedia ada?

Seperti kata penulis, kita lakukan latihan ini , lama kelamaan kita akan rasa gembira kerana kita mereflect kembali dan menimbang fakta dengan jelas dan kita akan lebih bersyukur dengan apa yang kita ada dan kehampaan dapat diubati...

Lama kelamaan bila cabaran kehidupan yang lebih besar hampiri kita, kita akan dapat menanganinya dengan lebih baik dan positif.
Ingat juga bila kita hidup berlandaskan nilai yang positif dan bermoral, kita sebenarnya membuat sumbangan kepada semua umat manusia dikeliling kita, bermula dari keluarga.. ahli keluarga kepada manusia disekeliling mereka..(dah dapat pahala tu)..

Jangan simpan nilai dan rahsia kegembiraan pada diri kita sendiri... hebah kan pada yang lain,,,ini akan membuat diri kita bertambah gembira...

Pepatah lama bijak pandai China..
Kalau nak gembira sekejap tidur/rehat  sejam.
Kalau nak gembira untuk sehari  pergi lah memancing( pergi cari rezekila maksudnya...tangkap ikan dapat ikan, pergi kerja dapat hasil).
Kalau nak gembira setahun warisi atau dapatkan/lakukan sesuatu yang bernilai atau berharga dan berterusan ..
Kalau nak gembira seumur hidup bantulah insan yang lain (buatlah kerja amal/chariti/ tolong orang setiap kali kita nampak kita boleh tolong... Lagi berlipat ganda kegembiraan jika kita lakukan jariah seperti disebut"bila memberi biarkan tangan kiri pun tidak tahu tangan sebelah lagi memberi". Maknanya Sebagai challenge kepada nilai nilai yang baik dan dari segi ugama.. kita cubalah lakukan kebaikan secara diam diam tanpa mencanang canang satu dunia  untuk mendapat penghargaan dan apa apa balasan. Jika kita buat sedemikian, kita akan insaf lebih insaf  dan tidak akan mudah hanyut.

Kenapa hanyut dan terpesong? Sebab jika kita beriya iya membantu kerja amal dsbnya, kemudian kita canangkan pada satu dunia, kemudian kita berharap sangat mendapat balasan pingat, kebesaran dsbny. Maka pahala amal jariah tadi cuma tinggal dan nampak didunia sahaja lah... Sebab kegembiraan yang digharap dan didapati hanya bersifat material, status dan pangkat sajalah.. Ianya bersifat sementara...

Entahlah..Kebajikan dan kebaikan boleh dilakukan setiap masa tanpa perlu dicanang kan pada sesiapa... hanya diri kita dan Allah swt.....


Kesimpulannya fikirkan matlamat diri kita vs nilai nilai positif diri kita:
Disini saya beri contoh:
Nilai  vs matlamat?
Nilai baik didalam diri kita ingin melakukan kebaikan dan membantu orang dengan kerja  amal dan menyampaikan ilmu dan idea  supaya orang dapat memperbaiki diri mereka.
Matlamat akhir yang kita mahukan diatas semua kerja kerja amal dan menyampaikan idea tadi, adakah kita mahukan pahala saja sebagai saham kita di akhirat nanti? Atau kita mahu mendapat pengiktirafan berbentuk material/wang  yang boleh menaikkan darjat dan status kita didunia dan menjadi seorang yang terkenal dan mendapat layanan vip?

Fikirkanlah... 


WASSALAM

Extract dari penulisan PAUL McKENNA reveals how smiling when you don't feel like it and other brilliantly simple tricks can change your mood for ever ...

Salam semua, jangan lupa senyum walau fikiran kusut dan hati runsing... senyum walaupun pahit didalam, ianya akan mengubah angin diri yang murung...

Dibawah extrak Paul Makena mengenai sesuatu yang boleh kita pelajari pada diri kita...

::In his new book I Can Make You Happy, international best-selling author PAUL McKENNA — whose techniques have helped millions to change their lives for the better — reveals his unique formula for making you feel good. In the second part of our exclusive series, he shows you how ­you can make happiness a habit.::




::Paul McKenna says that by making yourself smile or laugh every day you can become happier:



:You may not feel like smiling or laughing right now. But if you make a point of regularly turning the corners of your mouth upwards, you’re soon going to feel happier. You don’t even need to have anything to laugh about. Just pretend — and you’ll still get the same effect.



So, as I explain in my new book I Can Make You Happy, this very effective exercise is ridiculously simple: just laugh 20 times a day and smile 20 times a day.



Whenever you smile, you release serotonin, which is a neurotransmitter that makes you feel good. People who are smiled at also report that they feel happier — and the more you smile at others, the more they’ll smile at you.



Once it becomes a habit to be smiley, you’ll add a steady stream of happy moments to your life and permanently raise your overall level of happiness.



And that’s not all. Research has shown that laughter also boosts the immune system and helps the body clear out toxins. Which means that by laughing a lot, you’ll have ­better digestion, fewer colds and fewer bouts of flu.

HABITS OF HAPPINESS

We all have habits — like smiling or frowning — that we create by repetition. Each of these corresponds to a neural pathway in the brain.



The more we repeat a thought or action, the stronger that pathway becomes, just as a footpath across a field becomes clearer and firmer the more people walk along it.



Once we form a habit, it’s regulated directly by the unconscious mind. So it won’t be a surprise to learn that unhappy people have habits that maintain their unhappiness, and happy people have habits that sustain their contentment.



Once it becomes a habit to be smiley, you'll add a steady stream of happy moments to your life and permanently raise your overall level of happiness

The good news is that creating small new habits can produce great results.



Of course, some of us have significant issues that lie beneath our unhappiness that we need to address.



But even before we do that, we can use the exercises I’m giving you to change our everyday habits and bring about a measurable improvement in our lives.



And if you practise every day, your happiness will increase.

My friend Dr Robert Holden, who is often referred to as the ‘happiness psychologist’, has conducted an amazing experiment which proves that we can completely alter levels of happiness by changing our habits.



Rather than trying to break bad habits, he replaced the old ones with new ones.



For his experiment, which was the subject of a BBC documentary, he gathered a group of depressed people and started by giving each an MRI scan. This focused on activity in the left prefrontal lobe of the brain — an area that corresponds with happy thoughts and feelings.



As expected the scan revealed that each person had the ­neurological signs associated with depression. Then Robert asked them all to do just three things over and over for a month.



Laugh and smile for 20 minutes a day.

Take at least 20 minutes exercise a day.

Focus on happy thoughts and memories with the ‘spot the dots’ technique (see below).



At the end of the month, every one of them reported that they felt happier.

More...Exhausted and fed up as the New Year begins? PAUL McKENNA shows how you can banish the blues... for good



Afterwards they were given another MRI scan, which showed that they’d significantly increased activity in the left prefrontal lobe area.



In just one month, they’d changed the physical activity of their neural networks and brain chemistry simply by changing their habits of thinking and behaviour. In other words, they’d moved from being depressed to extremely optimistic.

These findings were so remarkable that an independent psychologist monitoring the experiment insisted that the MRI machine be checked for faults. The machine was working perfectly.



But the BBC bosses were still wary, so they delayed transmitting the programme for six months because they couldn’t believe the change would last.



Six months later, the subjects agreed to have another MRI scan. Their brains still showed increased activity in the left prefrontal lobe, and each person reported that he still felt significantly happier.



So how can you follow Robert’s remarkable formula for increasing happiness?



The first thing couldn’t be simpler: just laugh or smile — whether you feel like it or not — for 20 minutes a day. Now, I’m going to show you how to do the other two techniques.

Whenever you smile, you release serotonin, which is a neurotransmitter that makes you feel good

THE INSTANT MOOD CHANGER



As well as laughing and smiling more, you need to take at least 20 minutes’ exercise a day. The scientific evidence for this is overwhelming: happy people are more active than unhappy ones. And active people are ­happier than those who take no exercise.



Why? Because exercise stimulates your body to produce two chemicals that change how you feel.



As you start to use your muscles, adrenaline is released, which increases your alertness and triggers the release of energy. Then when you finish exercising, endorphins are released which give you a sweet, soft feeling in your muscles and a sensation of satisfaction and relaxation.



Exercise clears out all the stress chemicals from your body and rebalances your neurology and body chemistry. It even makes you sleep better. And it has been proved to be the single most effective treatment for depression.



But you don’t have to go to the gym, run on a track or pump iron. Walking is one of the best forms of exercise — and don’t forget

that you’re already exercising with every movement you make during the day.



When I was developing my Weight Loss programme, I asked ­researchers to check on the precise amount of exercise people were ­taking. They found that the difference between an overweight person and a naturally thin person was just 2,000 steps a day.



That’s a 15-minute walk.



So going to the gym is fine, but I think it’s far better just to build a bit of exercise into your life. Anything that warms you up, gets you breathing deeply and makes your heart beat faster will definitely change your mood. And a by-product is that you’ll also be fitter, which is good for your health.



If you can exercise in a park or the countryside, that’s another bonus. Recent research has shown that people who take exercise outdoors in a natural environment experience a rapid boost in mood and self-esteem.

BEATING THE BURN-OUT

I’ve worked with a number of high achievers recently who had everything in a material sense. Their happiness levels, however, were like a roller-coaster ride.



I know what that’s like, because I’ve experienced it myself.



These high achievers work until they burn themselves out, and then they feel down because they’ve depleted their vital neurotransmitters (the brain chemicals which help send messages around the brain). Often, their bodies force them to take a break by making them unwell.



They’re treating life like a series of sprints rather than a marathon. I’ve found that two straightforward principles made a huge difference to their lives:



Listen to your body. When it tells you to slow down, take a rest. Resting just before you’re totally exhausted means your overall stamina will be stronger.

When you have a lot to do, create an A, B, C list. A is essential and must be done today. B is ­important but can wait. C is everything else. Just focus on A, then tackle as much of B and C as you feel like doing.

SPOT THE DOTS



This third exercise has a very powerful effect because you are repeatedly adding into your life a strongly positive experience.



Stick at least a dozen little coloured dots around your home, where you’ll see them as you go about your daily life. You could place them, for example, on the mirror, on the fridge, on the bathroom door and in the hall.

Make a list of three happy memories, three people you love or who love you, and three things that could make you happy in the future. If you find it difficult to find or remember three things for each ­category, make up some ­situations or possibilities that would make you happy.

Imagine or remember each item as vividly as possible. For each memory, see it in your mind’s eye as if you’re experiencing it again — hear what you heard and feel what you felt then. For each person, imagine being with them, hearing them and experiencing how good they make you feel. For each situation in the future, imagine it happening — see it, hear it and feel it as though it’s taking place now.



Take as much time as you need to work through your list. Notice how good you feel at the end. As you do this more and more, it will have a cumulative effect.



Whenever you see a coloured dot, think of one of the items on your list.



ADDING THE POSITIVE

Robert's three exercises produce a physically measurable effect in one month. But we can make that change faster and more powerful by working on other habits as well.



By that, I mean habits that actually maintain unhappy feelings. For example, many depressed

people often say or think negative things, such as: ‘Oh God, I’ve got another day to get through,’ or ‘I’m going to be on my own again.’



The effect of this thinking, I’ve found, can be dramatically altered when we simply add a positive thought on to the end of a negative one.



Use the same vivid positive ­memories that you use when you see a coloured dot.

Try to single out any statements or judgments that you say or think which make you feel sad, hopeless or unhappy.

Whenever you think one of those negative statements, add on to it, ‘And now I remember. . .’ or ‘And now I love . . .’ or ‘And in the future . . .’, and then bring to mind one of the items on your list.



For example, you might have a negative thought such as: ‘I’ve got another day to get through.’ And you might want to add on: ‘And now I’m thinking about how much fun I have with my best friend.’



When you use this exercise repeatedly, you’ll discover that your brain begins to streamline the process — so that as soon as you have a negative thought, your brain fast-forwards to the positive idea and feeling.



In the end, that makes the negative thought just like a coloured dot: it becomes a signal to have a positive thought.

THINKING IN BLACK & WHITE

The language we habitually use is like a stream of hypnotic suggestions that strongly affect our experience.



Some people think it doesn’t matter if we exaggerate with negative language, but black-and-white thinking is limiting — even in jest. Negative thinking effectively shuts the door on positive possibilities.



For example, it’s not unusual to hear someone say: ‘Everything always goes wrong for me!’



Clearly, that person is having a bad day — but what he’s saying isn’t literally true. He doesn’t drop everything he holds, he doesn’t fall over every time he tries to walk and he doesn’t lose his wallet every time he goes ­outdoors. Some things work and some things don’t.



But if this person keeps uttering negative phrases like, ‘Nothing works for me’ and ‘I never have any luck’, he paints all the world black and won’t notice hundreds of possible happy moments.



Here’s how to change black-and-white thinking and make room for happiness in your language.



Pay attention to the voice inside your head.

Look out for words like ‘can’t’, ‘nothing’, ‘always’, ‘only’, ‘every’, ‘no one’ and ‘never’.

If you hear any of these words, repeat the sentence in your head and notice if that thought makes you feel bad or limited.

If so, change it from a general statement to a particular one. For example, you might turn ‘No one understands me’ into ‘Bill did not understand what I said this morning’.

Now, check that there’s room for a positive outcome in what you’ve just said. For example: ‘I’ll talk to Bill later, and this time I’ll check that he’s understood what I said.’

TAKING A LIBERTY

Sometimes, just one problem feels over­whelming. This amazing technique, created by my friend Kevin Laye, will instantly help you to cope. It will recode the way the brain processes information so that you can handle the problem from a more resourceful position.



Think of the problem or issue that’s bothering you. Make a picture in your imagination that ­represents it.

Imagine holding that picture in front of

you in your right hand. Look at it and notice how you feel.

Now, still holding that picture, raise your right hand up so that you’re standing like the Statue of Liberty and holding that problem high up in

the air.

Look at the picture up there and notice how different you feel. The problem is the same, but the feeling of panic is reduced because you’re stimulating the brainwaves associated with peace and comfort. As I explained yesterday, when people look upwards they generate the alpha waves which make us feel good.

HIGHER LEVEL

This next technique will reinforce your new brain chemistry. Each time you do it, you’ll reset your base of happiness to a higher level.



Indeed, people I’ve taken through this exercise often report that it produces a feeling of euphoria and gives them a better insight into themselves.



Afterwards, you’ll find that other people are more lovable, and the world looks somehow brighter, more friendly and full of exciting possibilities.



Choose somewhere to sit quietly for five minutes. Gently relax for a minute or so. Pay attention to your breathing. Imagine there’s a silver thread coming down from the sky that’s gently pulling you up from the very top of your head. Imagine letting that thread hold your head upright, allow your shoulders to drop and then imagine that you’re supported by the thread.

Now, let your imagination explore how you’d be if you were fulfilling your highest potential. Imagine there’s a screen in front of you, on which you’re watching a super-­realistic movie of yourself

in the best possible state, going about your everyday life. Watch yourself being capable, kind,

generous, ­balanced and in control.

As you watch that movie, ask yourself: ‘If I were being loved unconditionally right now, how would that feel? How good can I feel if I’m full of energy? If I were loved so much that I could love in return as much as I can? If I had overcome the obstacles I face? If I’d received so much that I could be as generous as I wanted?’



If you were the best version of yourself, at your highest potential, how would you move, breathe, smile, think, act, deal with people and difficult situations? How much joy would you feel in your body? What kinds of positive thoughts would fill your head?

Now, float over into yourself in that movie — so that you’re seeing, hearing and feeling everything from within your higher self. Notice how good you can feel at your most ­loving, most confident, most generous and most kind. Be relaxed and comfortable in yourself.

Enjoy exploring how good this feels. Now, spread this feeling through the whole of your body and heart and mind. Notice which factors let you truly enjoy being totally at ease and free to love and appreciate your life completely. Notice the balance of peacefulness and energy.

Now, look ahead and imagine what it will be like to keep this feeling within you as you go about your daily life. What is your home life like, with all the love and generosity and wisdom of your highest potential? How do you feel as you wake up in the morning, as you meet

people and go about your daily tasks? How will your work be different when you feel so comfortable, balanced and capable? How will your evenings be different with this internal peace, love and energy?

Now, look ahead to at least three ordinary situations from your daily life over the coming week. Vividly imagine how they’ll be when you’re transformed by this inner connection to energy, balance and happiness.

Keep this feeling with you throughout your day.

Extracted from I CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY by Paul McKenna, published by Bantam at £10.99.

© 2011 Paul McKenna::

Prioritise:
BEATING THE BURN-OUT



I’ve worked with a number of high achievers recently who had everything in a material sense. Their happiness levels, however, were like a roller-coaster ride.






I know what that’s like, because I’ve experienced it myself.






These high achievers work until they burn themselves out, and then they feel down because they’ve depleted their vital neurotransmitters (the brain chemicals which help send messages around the brain). Often, their bodies force them to take a break by making them unwell.






They’re treating life like a series of sprints rather than a marathon. I’ve found that two straightforward principles made a huge difference to their lives:






Listen to your body. When it tells you to slow down, take a rest. Resting just before you’re totally exhausted means your overall stamina will be stronger.


When you have a lot to do, create an A, B, C list. A is essential and must be done today. B is ­important but can wait. C is everything else. Just focus on A, then tackle as much of B and C as you feel like doing.



Taking A liberty:
Sometimes, just one problem feels over­whelming. This amazing technique, created by my friend Kevin Laye, will instantly help you to cope. It will recode the way the brain processes information so that you can handle the problem from a more resourceful position.








Think of the problem or issue that’s bothering you. Make a picture in your imagination that ­represents it.

Imagine holding that picture in front of


you in your right hand. Look at it and notice how you feel.


Now, still holding that picture, raise your right hand up so that you’re standing like the Statue of Liberty and holding that problem high up in


the air.


Look at the picture up there and notice how different you feel. The problem is the same, but the feeling of panic is reduced because you’re stimulating the brainwaves associated with peace and comfort. As I explained yesterday, when people look upwards they generate the alpha waves which make us feel good




::Article was taken from Dma1l  extract of Paul Mckenna  with thanks::

perhubungan sesama manusia dan perasaan gembira

Penulis dibawah menulis sesuatu yang logik dan menganalisa perhubungan sesama manusia ditempat kerja, di rumah dan dengan kawan.
Saya setuju dengan apa yang ditulisnya.
Orang yang baik tidak akan melukan dan menikam serta membuli serta mengambil kesempatan dari kita.
Persahabatan yang baik dan positif bukan melukakan dan menikam serta mengutuk orang dari belakang..    ianya mengambil kire perasaan dan sensitivity rakan kita...dsbnya..
Saya ada kawan baru , bukan main lagi kalau datang bawa itu ini.. kenal juga dgn kawan lagi satu.. kemudian dia membawa mulut menyucuk kawan saya ini. kami kenal lebih lama dari minah yang baru ini.
Mula mula kawan saya yang kenal lama ini termakan adu domba si minah ni.. tapi selepas seketika, selepas saya tolak si minah jauh jauh, langsung takde modal dia nak bawa mulut pada saya.. persahabatan saya yg renggang dan tegang dengan kawan lama ini kembali pulih. Kami tidak lah bercerita apa atau buat post mortem, cuma senyap senyap sajalah..

Persahabatan dan perasaan ambil berat dan pujian perlu ikhlas....Bukan mengahrap benda dan hadiah semata.. dapat hadiah puji melambung.. kalau tak dapat apa apa puji tak kawan tu?
Kalau kenal lama boleh lah minta..kalau baru kenal beberapa ketika ...?

Fikirkanlah...

:The secret to happy relationships: PAUL MCKENNA explains how to feel secure and confident at home, at work and with friends:





::It’s the book that promises to change your life and all this week we’ve been running extracts from Paul McKenna’s I CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY. Each day Paul tackles a different happiness-related issue — so it’s not too late to start picking up his tips. Today, he explains how — using simple techniques — you can enrich your life with fulfilling friendships.


Paul McKenna says that by making yourself smile or laugh every day you can become happier



One of the surest ways to increase your happiness is by sharing it. And there’s a good reason for this. Funda­mentally, human beings are herd ­animals — so putting a smile on someone else’s face rewards the deep sense of ­community that’s hard-wired into all of us.



Indeed, scientists have found that when we’re in a group of people with something in common, the sense of being in a herd causes a rise in our levels of the happiness hormone serotonin.

Being genuinely kind or helpful or polite ­creates a sense of community, which is why we often feel good performing an act of kindness, whether for a close friend or a stranger.



When we act in this way, we’re like radio stations transmitting our emotional state by means of thousands of little non-verbal signals in our posture, breathing, expression and movement.



At the same time, we’re also picking up other people’s emotional signals. This means we literally sense each other, even if we never actually touch each other at all.



If you’re at loss to know what would be a kind way to behave, just try to see things from the other ­person’s point of view.



For example, you might come across a tourist looking lost. If you put yourself in her shoes, you’ll see that you might improve her view of your whole city by taking two minutes to give her directions or tell her about a good restaurant.



If you’re working with someone who’s getting difficult and defensive, ask yourself: ‘What would help him feel better? What does this person need to hear to feel appreciated and empowered?’



I explained all of this once to a ­colleague, who then concluded that it probably also made good commercial sense. If he was nicer to all the people who worked for him, he mused, they’d be happier, more confident and more productive. So he’d get more out of them.



He, therefore, quite cynically decided to act more friendly towards his employees. And the result was that they became more friendly to him.





More...Exhausted and fed up as the New Year begins? PAUL McKENNA shows how you can banish the blues... for good

I can make you HAPPY: PAUL McKENNA shows how you can make happiness a habit



Indeed, he admitted to me a few months later that he’d ended up genuinely liking and appreciating them all. So, in spite of his selfish motives, he’d become emotionally richer just by actively being nice to other people.



This illustrates a fundamental principle of happiness: if you want to have friends, be one to others.



The essence of friendship isn’t grand gestures, but kindness and caring. So being a friend doesn’t mean helping everyone all the time or endlessly ­buying presents.



It means small expressions of appreciation in everyday contexts and ­random acts of kindness. It means being sensitive and open to your friends, but not insisting that they’re immediately the same with you.



It means leaving the door open to friendship, not dragging people in. And, occasionally, it even means ­closing the door.



And that’s not all. Research has shown that laughter also boosts the immune system and helps the body clear out toxins. Which means that by laughing a lot, you’ll have ­better digestion, fewer colds and fewer bouts of flu.



Birds of a feather: Like attracts like, which is why happy people tend to gather happy friends easily

UNHAPPY FRIENDS

Happy people make friends easily — and like attracts like, so happy people tend to gather happy friends.

Unfortunately, ‘misery loves company’, as the saying goes, so unhappiness can bring the wrong sort of friends into our lives.

People feel more secure when they share the same views as the people they’re with. This holds true even if their views are making them miserable, which is why unhappy people often act as though they’re trying to defend their unhappiness.

They don’t actually want to be unhappy — they just feel insecure about letting go of beliefs they’ve got used to. So they end up spending all their time talking about their problems.

In the long term, they do need help, but endless sympathy won’t help them or you. If they’re not yet ready to make the necessary changes, you just have to stand back.

There are three simple questions that will help you identify which friends you want to keep and which you want to leave behind.

For each of your friends, look back over the time you’ve known them and ask yourself:

Does this person take my energy up or does he/she/they take my energy down?

After I’ve seen him/her, do I ­generally feel better or worse?

Overall, do both of us feel happier and enriched by our friendship?

Here are some techniques that will help you deal with the people in your life who bring you down. Each of these will help you to keep your ­distance from them when you feel it’s necessary.



HELPING OTHERS





When you’re truly kind to yourself, you’re in a great position to be kind and helpful to others.

There’ll be no hidden agenda in your relationships.



You won’t be trying to get other people to make you happy — because you already are.



Happiness is a bit like love. The

more you give it away, the more you’ll get in return.

A HEALTHY DISTANCE

1. If someone consistently brings you right down, stay away from him (or her). If at all possible, cut him out of your life entirely. You don’t have to feel guilty about this because you’ve already tried to help him.



Strangely, when someone is very needy or very down, he can only actually use a very little help. If you give him more than that, it ­simply goes to waste. Just let him go, and he may even find what he needs in the space you create by leaving him.



2. A lot of difficulties in friendships arise because one person believes he/she has a good idea.



Whether through pleading, neediness or sheer enthusiasm, he drags you into doing something you don’t want to do.



There’s no point getting into an argument or a long discussion with him, so practise saying these three phrases until they come to your lips automatically: ‘I can’t decide right now — I’ll get back to you.’ ‘So where does that leave you?’ ‘What’s the best solution here for everyone?’



These questions will give you time to decide what you really want. And if you really like the idea, you can return to your friend later and agree.



3. If you find yourself in the company of people who’ve taken advantage of you in the past, or who make you feel uneasy or drained, imagine that you’re surrounded by a shield of white light.



If you want to let someone or ­something in, you can choose to do so. Otherwise, just imagine all their feelings and intentions and ideas being stopped by the shield. Then you can think about them at your leisure and make your own reply in your own time



This works on two levels. Psychologically, it creates an emotional boundary. And, at a very subtle level, the micro-muscular movements of your non-verbal signalling will convey that you’re safe, confident and protected.



RETURN TO SENDER



If you’re feeling fine, but your mood plunges after meeting someone, it’s a reasonable guess that the bad feeling came from that person.

Next time you think that someone’s dumped their feelings on you, use this technique to free yourself and get rid of feelings that don’t belong to you.

1. Notice where you get the bad feeling in your body.

2. Imagine a shape and a colour for it.

3. Then imagine moving it out of your body and holding it in front of you.

4.  Imagine wrapping it up like a parcel.

5. Now, imagine launching it from a catapult with such force that it goes flying away over the horizon.

6. Notice how you feel. If there are any other leftover bits of feeling lying around, do the same again until you feel comfortable.



ATTRACTING HAPPINESS

Over the past three decades, psychologists have conducted research to find the factors that determine happiness.



After tracking people over many years, they discovered that lots of happy people were in long-term relationships.



Therefore, they concluded, long-term relationships make you happy. Indeed, some of the researchers even went so far as to say that marriage makes you happy.



However, as the years went by and they analysed more data, they discovered that this wasn’t quite correct.







It wasn’t being in a long-term relationship, or being married, that made you happy. In fact, people who were happy attracted long-term relationships into their life.



So it was not relationships that were making them happy — it was that happy people were making long-­lasting relationships.



This finding was reinforced by a major study which ran over 16 years and showed that people who were happiest in their relationships were also happy before they’d even met their partners.



The consequence of all this research is very clear: being happy with yourself is the best preparation for a happy long-term relationship.

CHANGING PICTURES

Now, think of someone who’s upset you a lot in the past. To reduce the emotional impact of their behaviour, we’re going to use a different technique.



The overall principle is this: images that are bigger, brighter and bolder have greater emotional intensity than those that are duller, dimmer and ­further away.



1. Think of the person who made you unhappy. Imagine his/her face in front of you. Notice the uncomfortable feeling that person created in you.



2. Imagine moving the image about

12ft away.



3. Shrink the image of his/her face until it’s small.



4. Drain all the colour out of the image so it’s black and white.



5. Make it transparent.



6. Now, make it fade out and disappear.



7. Notice how different you feel. By changing how you were picturing this person in your mind, you’ve altered the emotional effect of that memory. You’ve changed how you feel about him/her and reduced the effect he/she can have on you in the future.



8. Now do this exercise three more times with three more pictures of ­people or situations that have upset you in the past.



LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF



When you’re happy with yourself, someone else is more able to be happy with you.

You can see why this is true if you imagine the situation from the point of view of, for example, your partner. If you’re not at ease with yourself, you’ll be edgy and difficult to live with. And that undermines your relationship. So, in order to relate well to others, you must first relate well to yourself — which means that you need to have a good self-image.

You must have enough confidence in yourself to make whole-hearted decisions. At the same time, you must be kind and sensitive enough to accept and respect your own vulnerabilities.

For most of us, though, there are knocks and setbacks in our past that damage our ability to have a good self-image.

Sometimes, these events have caused deep hurt — so painful that psychological mechanisms in our brain have blocked them off. It’s as though we’re disowning a part

of ourselves.

This next exercise, which can bring about the most wonderful transformation, will help to heal those wounds. It’s the best way to set yourself up for a healthy ­romantic relationship, and it’s also one of the most healing and ­rewarding things you can do if you’re on your own or have recently split up with a partner.

Some people, when they read through the exercise for the first time, have told me they’d feel silly doing it, because it involves talking to and holding your younger self.

But every single one of my clients who’ve used this exercise has later commented on how powerful it was. And, strangely, it was those who felt most awkward about it at first who experienced the most profound changes.

HEALING YOUR YOUNGER SELF



1. Remember a time in the past, as long ago as you wish, when you were struggling or unhappy.



2. Picture the scene as an old black-and-white film on a TV screen, and stop the action at the point where your younger self was feeling really bad.



3. Now, imagine that, just like a ­special effect in a movie, you can float into the scene and speak directly to your younger self.



4. Tell your younger self that you’re from the future and that everything’s going to be fine.



5. Tell your younger self that you love and value him/her completely.



6. Tell your younger self that you’ve survived, and anything else you know now about the unhappy ­situation that will help him/her feel ­better about it.



7. Now, vividly imagine reaching out and comforting your younger self by embracing or holding him/her until you feel really warm and loving and you sense that your younger self has felt and accepted your love and appreciation.



8. Finally, place your younger self in your heart so that you can continue to feel that love.





Extracted from I CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY by Paul McKenna, published by Bantam at £10.99.

© 2011 Paul McKenna::



Paul McKenna says that by making yourself smile or laugh every day you can become happier.

ATTRACTING HAPPINESS

Over the past three decades, psychologists have conducted research to find the factors that determine happiness.
After tracking people over many years, they discovered that lots of happy people were in long-term relationships.
Therefore, they concluded, long-term relationships make you happy. Indeed, some of the researchers even went so far as to say that marriage makes you happy.
However, as the years went by and they analysed more data, they discovered that this wasn’t quite correct.

It wasn’t being in a long-term relationship, or being married, that made you happy. In fact, people who were happy attracted long-term relationships into their life.

So it was not relationships that were making them happy — it was that happy people were making long-­lasting relationships.
This finding was reinforced by a major study which ran over 16 years and showed that people who were happiest in their relationships were also happy before they’d even met their partners.
The consequence of all this research is very clear: being happy with yourself is the best preparation for a happy long-term relationship.


HELPING OTHERS
When you’re truly kind to yourself, you’re in a great position to be kind and helpful to others.
There’ll be no hidden agenda in your relationships.
You won’t be trying to get other people to make you happy — because you already are.
Happiness is a bit like love. The more you give it away, the more you’ll get in return.







article written by Paul Mckenna taken fr Dmail with thanks 

Tahun baru dan macam macam

Belum terlewat nak mengucap selamt tahun baru kepada semua..

Banyak hal berlaku, mak sakit  dan lain lain kesibukan.

Kepada semua didoakan sehat dan bahagia hidup insyaAllah.  Semoga kita semua menoleh kebelakang dan mengambil kira perkara ynag boleh diubah. mana yang boleh dibuang buang. Mana ada sifat suka marah marah, ubah lah jadi yang kurang marah dan banyak bersabar. Yang suka menunjuk nunjuk dari segi harta pangkat dan title  atau terkejar kejar membuat kerja amal  tapi untuk mendapat pulangan  supaya disanjung masyarakat, banyak banyak beristigfar. Supaya pahala tidak hilang.
Kepada yang suka mencanangkan apa dia beli atau ada, ubah lah supaya tidak membuat diri nampak macam badut. Fikirkan ada orang sekitar kita ada lebih atau lebih bagus dari kita tapi dia senyap saja..

Yang suka apa apa yang dianggap negati, cuba lah ubah kepada yang baik...
kepada pakcik, abang  dan sesiap yg berkenaan ada double life tu, cepat lah insaf.. esok bila Allah swt dah tarik akal, nampak buruk jadinya.
Kita kena jaga mulut kita didalam kita bercakap kita akan senang hilang pahala..dan tiba tiba mendapat dosa...

Mari kita berazam meningkat kan diri kearah melakukan kebaikan walaupun tidak ada orang tahu. Kebaikan kepada sesama manusia asing atau tidak, dan juga haiwan haiwan terbiar..

kita kena ingat menjaga diri kesihatan dan mengawal nafsu.. supaya kita tidak makan mengikut perasaan.
Kita kena ingat untuk menyimpan untuk masa sakit dan masa susah.
Di minggu tahun baru ada hamba Allah didalam keluarag jatuh sakit masalah kesihatan..Kerjanya saudara ini bermusim.. bila bekerja belum tentu gaji dibayar setiap bulan yang dia bekerja.
Bila dia jatuh sakit, pergi lah berubat. Selesai dirawat, baru lah disuruh ke  hospital. Bila tiba di hospital, doktor mahu membedah hamba Allah ini. Diwaktu itu baru disedari, tiada uang untuk membayar kos rm 7k . Itu tidak termasuk yuran katil dan pendaftaran dan ubat.
 Dimasa sehat ada kerja, ada duit lebih terus beli motor besar. Sudah tukar kereta cukuplah. Ini tidak, beli motor big bike. Duduk rumah sewa. Kemudian asik nak jjm. Mahu nak ada duit?
Sekarang sudah susah..anak berderet.

Entahlah.. memang lah semua org sudah cultivate tekak tapi kenalah cultivate menyimpan.. cermat...tabung menabung sana sini.. bukan skim labu peram ya.

Bersabar saja.
Sekarang hospital kerajaan pun banyak kena bayar. Xray  kena bayar. katil pun kena bayar, semua kena bayar.. bayangkan kalau anda tidak bekerja dengan kerajaan atau kakitangan kerajaan. Bersiap sedialah membayar segala benda.
Saya muskil juga, kalau benda yang berlakupada orang kampung susah, mana dan macamana agaknya nak mencari duit nak bayar kalau sakit berminggu minggu dan berbulan bulan.

Saya lihat ada orang kampung susah kena buat dialysis, kena ada sponsor,  terpaksa lah menerima bantuan dari kebajikan persatuan ugama asing. Yang hamba Allah ini orang Is-lam.

Kalau macamni, about time lembaga zkat menggunakan duit zakat ini membantu mereka.Sofar banyak orang kita ada keluarga bekerja atau bekas kakitangan kerajaan. Maka kita kurang pendedahan pasal pembayaran rawatan di hospital kerajaan.
Tapi bila saya lihat semasa melawat saudara di hospital, ada nenek tua sakit mata tak nampak. Anak perempuan ibu tunggal anak 4 orang. Kerja mengambil upah cuci rumah orang dan gosok baju. Ini bukan di Kl ya.

Ini betul orang susah tak ada internet. Tak ada segala macam kita baca di blog bila ada sound dia susah sempit. Bila waktu makan di wad, nenek ini tak mahu makan. Dia sangatlah sedih. Anak dia tidak datang melawat. Tapi bukan anak dia tak nak melawat, tapi duduk di kampung, jauh, tambang nak datang mahal. Dia sedih sangat. Sampai orang dikatil sebelah semua asyik pujuk. bila anaknya datang bersama cucu, makanan di tray tahan tidak disentuhnya, disuruhnya cucunya makan. Ini bukan berlaku ditahun yang lampau, ini berlaku didalam tahun 2010. Di hospital besar kerajaan...di negeri maju.
Bayangkan bila nak membayar kos katil dsbnya..


Banyak lagi peristiwa dipelajari mengenai tabiat manusia di wad hospital kerajaan.

Kepada yang hidup senang alhamdullillah..masuk hospital swasta- Alhamdullillah... rezeki anda sungguh murah..
kepada yang tiap tahun pergi bercuti ber.......alhamdullillah bersyukur lah...
kepada yang setiap minggu jjm. alhamdullillah

.....

....


......
tapi jangan lupa menabung.. kita tidak tahu bila rainy day kita..

begitu juga bila anak nak belajar masuk pengajian tinggi menggelupur dan mengeluh... la pergi holiday, beli benda hebat dsbnya boleh bila hak nak belajar ilmu anak anak berat pulak nak berkorban dan keluar duit sendiri..
Ada yang sanggup pull string etc.. tahukah anda  yang berbuat sedemikian, anda telah menafikan peluang anak anak kampung yang tiada berpeluang mendapat bimbimngan tambahan tuisyen dsbnya yang result mereka tidaklah secermerlang dengan pelajar yang duduk dibandar setiap malam dan minggu pergi tuisyen, berinternet di rumah dan ada yang dihantar ke kelas muzik, dan macam macam aktiviti yang menggunakan duit.

Orang orang yang begini mampu suscribe beruk band, jjm, menu very international dsbnya, mat dona macam kedai runcit je. Tapi bila tiba anak nak masuk pengajian tinggi ke, asmara ke melahu tak tentu arah. Gaji bulan bulan tetap.

Saving habuk pun takda.. ni apa hal? Savings hari tua sikit tidak ada. Harap potongan gaji kwsp dsbnya.. lebih bukan budget ketat, tapi masih pergi jjm dsbnya..

esok dah tua nak harap pada sapa nak beri makan?


Minta maaflah melalut..fikirkanlah ya...